> Diagnosis Machine
One day, in
line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's
wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits
a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak
your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve
in two weeks.
while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering
if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
prints the following:
1. Your tap
water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never