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A
man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into
a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am,
if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 1221."
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman.They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you." One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown. The small guy faints!The big dude picks up the small guy, brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy."What's wrong?" The small guy says, "Excuse me but what did you say?" The big dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound leftball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says,"Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'" A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,(Strong whiskey)" responded the young man. "6 shots! Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob.""Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will." |
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Marc Hayden