Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently
it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell
the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today,
and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly
horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
The first man
replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been
cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.
As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was
wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other
guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony,
and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25
floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating
on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall
off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and
starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand
that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories,
he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore,
so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over
the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all
the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died
there on the balcony."
"That sounds
like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man
comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and
again asks for his story.
"It's been
a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment
building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony.
Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell
over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony
on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long,
when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for
sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me.
I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed
a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go,
but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but
all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this
refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly,
and now I'm here."
Once again,
Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man
came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated.
Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture
this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a
refrigerator..."
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