Jokes
> 20 Ways to maintain your sanity |
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself
over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time
someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your
garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf
in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their
caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo
field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all
your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Dont use
any punctuation marks
9. As often
as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people
what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify
that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along
at the opera (or to the classical station on your radio).
13. Go to a
poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito
netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all
day.
15. Five days
in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because
you're not in the mood.
16. Have your
coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the
money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!"
18. When leaving
the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run
for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your
children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
20. Dress up
like a pilot, go to the airport lounge and get drunk like hell.
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