Life
is sexually transmitted. |
Never
take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. |
Monday
is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. |
Advice
is free: The right answer will cost plenty. |
Everyone
is entitled to my opinion. |
I
used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure. |
Hard
work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. |
Despite
the cost of living, it's still popular. |
You're
just jealous because the voices only talk to me. |
Consciousness:
that annoying time between naps. |
Clones
are people two. |
I
just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. |
WANTED:
Meaningful overnight relationship. |
Atheism
is a non-prophet organisation. |
Very
funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes |
I
don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. |
I
know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
|
All
Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets. |
Some
people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them |
Eat
Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway. |
Friends
help you move house. Real friends help you move bodies. |
There's
too much blood in my caffeine system. |
I
wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. |
Love:
two vowels, two consonants, two fools. |
Why
is "abbreviation" such a long word? |
All
generalizations are false. |
I wasnt born a bitch, its men like you that made me this way |
I'm
not a bitch, I am THE bitch! |
Men
are not pigs. Pigs are sweet, intelligent, sensitive, clean
animals. |
I
love animals- they taste great. |
Where
there's a will, I wanna be in it. |
Hard
work never hurt anybody, but then I figured why take the risk. |
Never let school get in the way of your EDUCATION. |
I'd
give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter |
Everyone
makes mistakes, that why pencil have erasers |
What
do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M |
What
do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment |
What's
the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. |
There's
no business like show business, but there's no job like a
blowjob |
If
con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
|
If
7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,
why are there locks on the doors? |
Obsession
is the word lazy people give to those of us who are motivated |
I
have PMS. Therefore I can legally kill you. |
When
in doubt- shup up! |
If
they dont have chocolate in heaven, I AINT GOING! |
God
must love stupid people- he made so many. |
I
got kicked outta Scouts for eating a Brownie. |
Beauty
is in the eye of the beer holder. |
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible? |
